Beautiful Disaster

 

I wiped the lipstick stain off borrowed glass,

The morning light was cold and fast.

You watched the rearview mirror burn,

We treat the past like it’s already ash.

You handed me the keys without a sound,

Knowing every place the guilt still clings.

We wear the secrets like cheap lace,

In every city we’ve come undone.

We are always running, chasing the edge,

The world is teetering on the ledge.

You’re the beautiful disaster I allow.

No future’s holding out for us right now, right now.

The only loyalty is this heat.

Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

We don’t own a photograph, not one,

So nothing’s left beneath the sun.

We traded slow decades for smoke,

Our kind of love outlives the sun.

Say the ritual, quiet and low.

Where we begin, and where we never go.

Hold my breath.

Own my debt.

We only know the way out.

We only know the way out.

The way out.

We are always running, chasing the edge,

The world is teetering on the ledge.

You’re the beautiful disaster I allow.

No future’s holding out for us right now, right now.

The only loyalty is this heat.

Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.

The car is cold.

You are breathing slow.

And darkness is the one true thing we know.

We dissolve.

The Lie I've Grown

 

She asks if I remembered the old keys, 

I say they’re on the hook, 

where they should be. 

A flicker in her eyes, 

a strange unease, 

She claims the hook’s been empty since July.

I bought the sweater blue, 

to match your coat, 

But on the hanger, 

now the color’s grey. 

I’m sure I saw the thread, 

the subtle note, 

I must have dreamt the morning light away.

The house is built of silence, 

stone by stone, 

A lighthouse in a storm I sail alone. 

The ground I walk upon is not my own, 

And everything I know is just a lie I've grown.

She talks about a promise I once broke, 

A conversation I don’t recall we had. 

I watch the memory dissolve like smoke, 

And nod that I suppose I acted bad.

Did I lock the door? 

Did I turn the light off? 

Did I say the word? 

Did I drive the fight off? 

Is this Tuesday? Is this Sunday? 

Sanity is not for me. Sanity is not for me.

She smiles and says the moon is made of glass. 

I say that’s beautiful, 

and let it pass. 

I watch the dishes dry, 

the seconds crawl... 

I don't remember any of this at all.

Pawn in the Game

 

 

She says I lost the car again,

I could have sworn it was the den.

My mind is like a broken pen,

She pours the tea and counts to ten.

I brought her tulips for the vase,

She says they’re weeds, she makes a face.

I must be slipping all over the place,

I’ll plant them in my suitcase case.

So let’s drink the red wine ‘til the carpet is soaked!

And we’ll laugh ‘til the ribs in my chest assume broke!

Yeah, there’s blood on the ceiling and fire in the smoke!

I’ll eat the whole cake ‘til I gag and I choke!

Excess! Excess! It’s a wonderful joke!

She claims I never had a name,

I guess the passport is to blame.

To argue now would be a shame,

I’ll play the pawn inside the game.

Check the lock. Check the stove.

Did I stay? Did I rove?

Left is right. Up is down.

King of fools. Wear the crown.

Spin the wheel. Take the pill.

If she won't. Then I will.

THEN I WILL.

So let’s drink the red wine ‘til the carpet is soaked!

And we’ll laugh ‘til the ribs in my chest assume broke!

Yeah, there’s blood on the ceiling and fire in the smoke!

I’ll eat the whole cake ‘til I gag and I choke!

Excess! Excess! It’s a wonderful joke!

She says the moon is made of cheese.

I fall politely to my knees.

I’m sorry that I start to freeze.

Whatever you say, honey. Please.